5 November 2013

5 ways to boost Confidence and 1 thing you didn't know about me

5 ways to boost Confidence and 1 thing you didn't know about me..

Who would want to do a thing like that? 


Who would intentionally set out to hurt someone, be it physically or mentally?

Some people don't know they're doing it,

The kid who bullied me through most of my high school life, did.

He knew exactly what he was doing,

What he didn't realise was that later in life I'd use it to my advantage!

From the moment I left school I was determined to build a strong body to protect myself against bullies in the future,

But I didn't stop there,

His bullying inspired me to want to be super successful, a kind of 'I'm going to be better that you' mindset developed. 

Now don't confuse that as arrogance because one of my favorite quotes is "at the end of the game, all of the pieces get put in the same box".

And I'm the last person to think that any one person is better than an other, 

My thoughts were just relative to this situation. 

So there you have it, the one thing you didn't know about me:

I was bullied at school and instead of letting it effect me, I used it as the fuel for my fire.  

So in a way I should probably thank Mr Bully because without him I wouldn't be the person I am today. 

Which leads us nicely on to: 5 Ways to increase your confidence.

1. Use a negative past experience as a positive, whatever it is, search for how you can turn that situation around, like I did with Mr Bully. Because I wanted to build a bully retardant body I actually developed a bucket load of confidence in the process.

2. If you're not happy about your current situation, don't sit there feeling sorry for yourself, do something about it.

The only person stopping you from getting the life you want is you, and once you start taking the first steps to getting that life you want you will see your confidence grow.

I see that in my clients almost every week, they see their bodies changing, their fitness improving, the health improving, their mental clarity improving and all that helps towards the end goal of increased confidence.

3. Act as if.

What do I mean by that?

Simple, Act as if you were the most confident person in the world, in fact, here's a task for you to do now..

Go to a quiet place where no one can see you, now close your eyes (read the rest of this first then close your eyes) and picture the most confident person you know.

Then I want you to stand how they stand, breath how they breath, see what they see, act how they act, do all this with your eyes closed, keep feeling the feelings that Mr/Mrs confident is feeling, feel your chest lift higher and higher, feel a big confident smile sweep across your face, keep standing tall and proud, then open your eyes and say to yourself 'Whatever challenges I face today, I'll handle it'.

That my friend is something called visualisation and it's one of the oldest but most powerful tricks in the book. I recommend you do this at least 3 times a day, every day for a month.

4. Repeat number 3. That's how good that one is!

5. Asses then act.

Whenever you face any situation where a certain amount of confidence is needed, assess it then act.

Most people do the former but then never do the latter.

Why?

Fear.

Lets break a situation down,

How about approaching the opposite sex, it might not be because you want to cavort with them, it might just be that you need to talk to them for something.

If you do want to cavort with them then I suggest you watch this.. Top 10 chat up lines

But because of past life experiences you asses, feel the fear, then don't act.

So let me teach you the way to successfully assess then act.

There's 3 stages.

1. Work out what is the worst that can happen.

2. Work out what you can do to prevent the worst from happening

3. Act based on the facts that have been presented to you.

So in our situation the worst that can possibly happen is the other person refuses to talk to you, maybe you might muck up your words and maybe just maybe you'll trip up just before you get to them and land face down right at their feet.

That's the assessment bit out of the way.

Now you have to work out a way to prevent that from happening, in this case it's easy,

1. Ask an open question (open questions are questions that can't be answered with a yes or a no) that way they have to engage in conversation with you, it would be rude not to.
2. Plan what you're going to say and then take a big breath before you get to the other person
3. Plan your route to them making sure there are no trip hazards in the way.

Which leads us on to number 3.

Act based on the facts that have been presented to you.

In this case, you can choose to go and speak to the opposite sex or you can walk away, the best thing is, it will be your choice what happens next, not theirs.

And that will build confidence like no ones business.

Think about it,

You made that decision

Therefore you are in control of your life

And to be in control of your life guess what attribute you must posses.....

As if you need me to write the answer here! 

That's all for now so stay confident ya'll.

Matt 'Act as if' Smith





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